Anger is an emotion that we experience in the face of an unpleasant situation. In fact, it is normal to get angry when you see an injustice or when someone is talking to you in an offensive way. And yet, when we react with violence, we are dealing with a temper tantrum. These episodes may cause increased blood pressure, excessive sweating, muscle tension, and redness. It is also possible to throw objects, to scream, to damage the furniture and, unfortunately, to hurt someone. These crises are harmful to health and to relationships with our peers, and it is essential to be able to identify the problem in order to take steps to avoid it.
At Buzzafter we always think about your emotional and physical well-being. That’s why we decided to share with you a series of tips that will help you overcome difficult times without being overwhelmed by anger.
Causes and types of anger
Anger, like any other emotion, has a concrete function. Sometimes, under the influence of this feeling, you feel an inner strength that allows you to face obstacles. Where it becomes problematic is when you lose emotional control, and that makes you unable to handle the emotion.
There are many factors that can lead to an attack of anger: frustration, poor interpersonal relationships, inability to solve a problem, situations perceived as a threat or obstacle to achieving a goal. There are also medical conditions that cause emotional instability, such as depression, alcoholism, bipolarity and the use of illegal substances.
There are three types of anger:
- Explosive: it manifests itself as the result of having endured discomfort for a long time. Emotions accumulate and there comes a time when you can not hold them back.
- Defensive: this is our answer when we feel attacked or threatened by someone or by some difficulty.
- Instrumentalized: This type of anger emerges as a means to an objective, for example, when we feel that we are not able to do anything without using violence.
It is very important to know the stages of anger, as well as the elements that cause it to understand and put in place ways to control a crisis.
1. Spot the physical symptoms
Careful attention should be paid to physiological signs that appear before a tantrum, such as jerky breathing, increased heart rate, sweating, high tone of voice, and acceleration of speech. Identifying these symptoms will allow you to pause and distance yourself from the source of the conflict.
2. Give a name to our feelings
When we are angry, we experience a lot of feelings. We advise you to concentrate and put a name on it, in order to rationalize these emotions and to avoid a spontaneous and unpleasant answer.
3. Change the emotional language
The person who experiences a temper tantrum can use unpleasant words and a hostile tone to express how they feel. It is better to express oneself by trying to lower the tone and using a softer language. This can help reduce tension and improve communication.
4. Being empathetic
Put yourself in the other’s shoes. Here is a way to understand his behavior, and what happens to avoid reacting negatively to any situation.
5. Listen carefully to the other
When we are very angry, we often find it difficult to listen to what our interlocutor tells us, and the conflict only increases. Listening well will increase the capacity for mutual understanding, and this little detail will avoid many misunderstandings.
6. Analyze the consequences
Before doing or saying anything annoying, it is important to pause and think about the consequences of these actions. If this is not the first time you have a crisis like this, try to remember what happened the last time it happened and the result it produced. It is quite possible that you will then be able to avoid saying or doing things that you might regret later.
7. Realize that this is not a battle
Of course, others do not necessarily think like you. But having a different point of view does not mean that you want to attack you. Tell yourself that opposing opinions are something positive and that you can not see this as something negative that needs to get angry. Otherwise, you will be frustrated and you will have a very unpleasant time.
8. Think about the causes
The question arises: does the reason for your anger really justify your reaction? It is necessary that you think about it every time you feel anger invade you. Streamlining the causes of your emotional response is crucial to avoiding violent behavior.
9. Breathe and count to 10
It may be a cliché, but breathing deeply by counting to 10 works very well. Breathing is a great way to relax when you use it calmly and consciously. The technical breathing may help you stay calm.
10. Take a distance
If nothing works and you feel that the tantrum is imminent, better get away from the source of the conflict. If that’s not possible, take a break to get your mind a little clearer before it’s too late. An effective technique is to repeat the word STOP in your head several times before completely losing control of the situation.
Habits that help you prevent these crises
Besides learning how to control an angry attack, there are habits you can put in place to avoid it.
- Do not accumulate anger: learn to manage this feeling so as not to get into a crisis.
- Rest well: if you do not sleep enough, you feel tired and therefore more susceptible to emotions and irritability.
- Avoid situations and toxic people: indeed, there are people that we can not stand, simply. In this case, it is better to move away from it.
- Leaving aside win / lose behavior: social relationships are not based on winning or losing. Frustration can lead to a temper tantrum.
Meditation or relaxation: doing yoga, meditation or just playing sports, here are some activities that will allow you to relax and be in a good mood.
- Control stress levels because it prevents us from reacting well to problems.
- Improve conflict resolution skills: know how to address difficulties to avoid frustration and anger.
- Avoid consuming substances that may affect your state of mind.
When to call a professional
If you can not manage the tantrums alone, you may be suffering from an intermittent explosive disorder. It is composed of episodes of violence and aggression that last about 30 minutes. People who suffer from it have the same symptoms as tantrums, but much more intense. Moreover, they are unable to control themselves or to think of the consequences. This disorder is quite common among young adults and has its origin in external, genetic or structural factors in the brain.
A specialist will be able to evaluate your behavior and help you to behave appropriately, through psychological therapy or medications prescribed by a psychiatrist.
And you, do you suffer from tantrums? Do you know of other ways to prevent them? Do not hesitate to share them in the comments section!